I hear the slam of our screen door which signals that someone has come home. I hear my name being called as mom enters the house. Elizabeth, my cousin, is being called down also. I am reluctant to get up from my warm, comfy bed. I look down to my right and find Elizabeth still asleep on the floor. I prop myself on my elbows, and look outside the window to see the sun shining through. I hear loud thumps as mom ascends upstairs. The familiar urgency in her voice tells me I must go down now.
“Rose!! Elizabeth!! I have something for you!” Mom yells from the kitchen.
“Okay, okay. We’re coming, jeez.” I return.
I nudge my cousin to wake up. Elizabeth’s eyes open immediately as if she has woken up from a nightmare. I tell her we have to go downstairs. She follows me out my bedroom door without any questions. As we groggily entered the kitchen mom hands us two identical pins. Wrapped in plastic is the American flag with the United States Secret Service badge on it.
“What is this?” I look towards my cousin and see that she is just as confused as I am.
“It is an apology for yesterday. Think of it as a souvenir…” Mom replies.
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We ran out of ketchup. I checked the fridge twice. Nada. Zip. Zero. Ketchup is the #1 condiment that needs to be in the Valdez household. That red bottle of Heinz Ketchup is nowhere to be found. We were having hot dogs for lunch. I am aware that Chicagoans are not supposed have ketchup on their hot dogs. But oh well, everyone is different. I decided to buy a new bottle at the corner store. I nominated Elizabeth to come along because I did not want to go alone. Before heading out the door I grabbed my wallet and keys.
We were greeted with the blazing sun blinding our eyes. The trees swayed back and forth above us. We could barely see the clear blue sky through the tree leaves and branches. I was surprised by the slight breeze Mother Nature gave us on this summer day. We headed left towards our destination.
“Hey, Elizabeth, check out those cars.” I pointed at the pitch-black SUVs to the right of us.
“Scary… Those men are just sitting there.” She mutters, referring to the bulky men dressed in black suits in the driver and passenger seats.
We reached the end of my block and crossed the intersection at Willow and Orchard. We noticed people waving the American flag. Parents were keeping an eye on their children as they jumped up and down with excitement. We saw cookies decorated in red, white, and blue. Signs were held above their heads of an influential figure. I glanced at my cousin and she knew exactly what I was thinking. We entered America’s Pantry hearing the “ding” of the bell hanging above us.
“Hello, exciting day isn’t it?” says the cashier with his thick Indian accent.
“Good afternoon,” Elizabeth and I return.
We walked down the reaching the condiments section. I grabbed the biggest bottle of Heinz Ketchup making sure we would not run out of it any time soon. I asked my cousin if she wanted anything else. But she said she was fine. I shrugged and returned to the front of the store to pay. I placed the bottle of ketchup on the cashier’s counter.
“Will that be all? Would you like a bag?” asks the Indian man.
“Yes please,” I say as I get my wallet ready.
“Okay, that will be $4.25.” he says placing the bottle in a thin white plastic bag.
I grabbed a five dollar bill from my wallet and paid.
“Rose!! Elizabeth!! I have something for you!” Mom yells from the kitchen.
“Okay, okay. We’re coming, jeez.” I return.
I nudge my cousin to wake up. Elizabeth’s eyes open immediately as if she has woken up from a nightmare. I tell her we have to go downstairs. She follows me out my bedroom door without any questions. As we groggily entered the kitchen mom hands us two identical pins. Wrapped in plastic is the American flag with the United States Secret Service badge on it.
“What is this?” I look towards my cousin and see that she is just as confused as I am.
“It is an apology for yesterday. Think of it as a souvenir…” Mom replies.
----------------------------------
We ran out of ketchup. I checked the fridge twice. Nada. Zip. Zero. Ketchup is the #1 condiment that needs to be in the Valdez household. That red bottle of Heinz Ketchup is nowhere to be found. We were having hot dogs for lunch. I am aware that Chicagoans are not supposed have ketchup on their hot dogs. But oh well, everyone is different. I decided to buy a new bottle at the corner store. I nominated Elizabeth to come along because I did not want to go alone. Before heading out the door I grabbed my wallet and keys.
We were greeted with the blazing sun blinding our eyes. The trees swayed back and forth above us. We could barely see the clear blue sky through the tree leaves and branches. I was surprised by the slight breeze Mother Nature gave us on this summer day. We headed left towards our destination.
“Hey, Elizabeth, check out those cars.” I pointed at the pitch-black SUVs to the right of us.
“Scary… Those men are just sitting there.” She mutters, referring to the bulky men dressed in black suits in the driver and passenger seats.
We reached the end of my block and crossed the intersection at Willow and Orchard. We noticed people waving the American flag. Parents were keeping an eye on their children as they jumped up and down with excitement. We saw cookies decorated in red, white, and blue. Signs were held above their heads of an influential figure. I glanced at my cousin and she knew exactly what I was thinking. We entered America’s Pantry hearing the “ding” of the bell hanging above us.
“Hello, exciting day isn’t it?” says the cashier with his thick Indian accent.
“Good afternoon,” Elizabeth and I return.
We walked down the reaching the condiments section. I grabbed the biggest bottle of Heinz Ketchup making sure we would not run out of it any time soon. I asked my cousin if she wanted anything else. But she said she was fine. I shrugged and returned to the front of the store to pay. I placed the bottle of ketchup on the cashier’s counter.
“Will that be all? Would you like a bag?” asks the Indian man.
“Yes please,” I say as I get my wallet ready.
“Okay, that will be $4.25.” he says placing the bottle in a thin white plastic bag.
I grabbed a five dollar bill from my wallet and paid.
Good Job, Rose! I like the way you had a beginning that dove into another part of your story. The only thing I saw that could be changed, maybe some grammar changes like, "Without questions she follows me out my bedroom door." Other than that, it was good. I like the ketchup start.
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